lullaby

I really hate feeling this way. Every time I try to take a breath, I swear, it feels like my chest has been anesthetized and I can't really feel anything. I feel like there's a hole and it's making me lightheaded. But it's not like a high, more like a low. Maybe like there's a weight on my chest? It's so hard to describe but I just feel like things are out of my control and essentially, they really are. That doesn't work for me because I'm a fixer; I enjoy repairing problems and finding solutions. But now this numb feeling has creeped up from my chest and into my neck. Maybe I'm overwhelmed? I've heard so much bad news these past few days and I think it's hitting me hard. Harder than I'd like. I think I figured out what this feeling is. It's the "My naivete has disappeared and now I see the world for what it is" feeling. It's the "losing faith in humanity" feeling. And guess what? It fucking blows.

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality-John Lennon